What are the benefits of a yoni steam? Does yoni steam help with fertility? Let’s begin with the research (or lack thereof). So despite lying to my beloved other half and the person I am closest to in the world, I am going to share my true thoughts on yoni steaming with you. Well, that’s Gwynie for you” I tut, shaking my head in disbelieving disgust. Nah, instead I throw Miss Paltrow under the bus. Maybe I should just come clean, much like my vagina after a good old steam. Instead I decided to wear the delicately sculpted mask of normality, the one I’ve been fine tuned to make an appearance every time someone asks me if I want children.
#V STEAM HOW TO#
Who does that?!“ Whilst Joe leant back in his chair, eyebrows raised, patiently waiting for my shocked response, I quickly assessed how to break the news to him that his wife has been indulging in that kind of crazy hippy shit for months. (he leans in towards me in a conspiratorial manner, glancing fleetingly at my crotch and whispers in a barely audible tone). But then she has to go a ruin it with some crazy hippy shit. “Some of the health stuff she does makes total sense and it’s what we adopt at home. We were sat side by side on a commuter train and Joe was discussing an interview with Gwynth Paltrow that he’d read in the paper.
The first time I was (nearly) caught out as a secret vaginal steamer was by my husband. Talk about it outside of those who are fertility challenged and the person you talk to may pull a confused face, like a warthog who has unexpectedly won first prize in a beauty contest to which she had been entered without her knowledge. This is bound to be the missing link as to why I’m not pregnant. What is this? Why have I not heard of this? Why have a not been trying this? I’m a fool, a FOOL. Oh yes, I steam my muff every month, it’s a totally normal practise for me, or Talk about a vaginal steam with someone struggling to conceive and you are likely to hear one of two reactions That’s assuming you discuss it with anyone of course. All these titles are valid so just choose the name least likely to frighten your contemporaries. I always thought that Yoni would make a pretty girls name, if it didn’t mean fanny flaps in sanskrit. For the purposes of this article I am going chose yoni steaming as my title of choice. Much like a member of the royal family, the vaginal steam has a number of official names and titles: v-steaming, yoni steaming, womb steaming, vaginal cleanse, muff steaming (that may just be in my household), chai-yok, banjo…take your pick.
Are vaginal steaming and yoni steaming the same thing? So strip your pants off and let’s get started. And now I am dragging you along with me on a magical wonderland written exploration of the topic. She said it would help with my fertility so yep, I went there. Vaginal steaming was a practise first suggested to me by my fertility masseuse, although she called it a ‘womb steam’ which sounds a lot less icky.